In Line

As I was standing in a line in downtown Toronto today, I happened to look over and discover that the person standing next to me was Margaret Atwood.

I elbowed The Guy sharply and nodded in her direction. He gave me a puzzled look, 'cos all he saw was a small lady with greying hair. I had to stage-whisper "That's Margaret Atwood!" in his direction, hoping she couldn't hear me.

As it happens, Oryx and Crake is one of the few books The Guy read last year, so he was suitably impressed.

I didn't say anything to her. Eventually, she walked off to go about the rest of her business. It was only hours later that I asked myself: How the hell did I recognize Margaret Atwood?

I've seen her photo in her books, perhaps. I may have seen her in an interview or a news item or two. She's a big deal for a Canadian - everyone knows who she is, though her books are a bit too heavy and obscure in content to be assigned in high schools. But Douglas Coupland is also a big deal for a Canadian, and I wouldn't recognize him if he came to my door.

I recognized her instantly, as if she were a movie star. I guess that makes me nerdy?

When I googled her, I discovered that www-dot-margaretatwood-dot-com is not taken, and neither is dot-ca. What is she thinking? Someone could put porn up there! It would reflect badly on her! A domain name is only like 8 bucks a year. Margaret needs some web-savvy help. A Canadian institution with a porn site on her name cannot be thought of.

If I'd known this a few hours ago, I would have mentioned it in line.

Nineteen Minutes

I wonder what Jodi Picoult has been thinking and feeling for the last week?

Her novel, Nineteen Minutes, just came out a month ago. It's about a school shooting.

From page 99:

Ervin knew the network hadn't come to him for his expertise - only for solace. The rest of Sterling - the rest of the world - wanted to know that kids like Peter Houghton were recognizable, as if the potential to turn into a murderer overnight were a visible birthmark. "So there's a general profile of a school shooter," the anchor prodded.

Ervin Peabody looked into the camera. He knew the truth - that if you said these kids wore black or listened to odd music or were angry, you were discussing most of the male teenage population at some point during their adolescent years. He knew that if a deeply disturbed individual was intent on doing damage, he'd probably succeed. But he also knew that every eye in the Connecticut Valley was on him - maybe even the whole Northeast - and that he was up for tenure at Sterling. A little prestige - the label of expert - couldn't hurt. "You could make that argument," he said.

How Jon Stewart Does It

Charlie Rose: What's the barometer you use, in your comedy writing? Do you know the sensibilities of your audience?

Jon Stewart: We actually don't think about them, in any way, shape, or form, until they're in the audience either yelling at us or clapping. We go by a sort of internal barometer and intuition that we all have as people who've done comedy for a long time. And that's all we've ever gone by.

Rose: All you can do is say, "Does this make me laugh or not"?

Stewart: Does this make me laugh? Do I feel creepy saying it? Is it the right target? Do we feel like we're choosing our point without being didactic? Is there enough balance in the show? You know, silliness, versus something that might be more pointed? Will it be interesting to watch? Are we changing the pace? Those are the things that we'll think about sometimes. But not - we don't ever think, "How's that gonna play at Theta Delta Ki?"

Rose: It's always instinctive in terms of what you think.

Stewart: I believe so. It's a bit like music in the sense that you're always listening for sour notes. And sometimes you hear 'em, and sometimes you don't.


The interview clip is here. I'm discovering that one of the best things you can learn as a writer is not to let too many people tell you what to say. At some point you just have to say, "this is what I want to write, and how I want to write it." Otherwise, what's the point?

Oh, and I love a man who can use "didactic" in a sentence. Don't you?

Around and Around

I took a bit of an Internet vacation, because the nominees for the RITA and Golden Heart awards came out and the blogosphere was a bit tiring for a while. If you don't know, the RITAs are RWA's industry awards for published books, and the Golden Heart is the award for unpublished works.

Most of the Internet frenzy (besides the nominees already hitting us over the head flogging their books and their friends' books) was about whether the RITAs are "fair" or not. I won't get into that here (besides saying that any awards for creative work are inherently impossible, and that I'm not much interested in paying 40 bucks for my manuscript to receive a number that I could just as easily pull out of my ass. But that's just me.) The craziness seems to have died down, at least until July, when the Conference (and the awards ceremony) comes around and once again I'll take a little vacation from my own genre.

Since I work for the media, I was most surprised by comments like this:

Why don’t the winning authors make the rounds (blogger, website, traditional media) doing interviews and promoting the award (as Oscar winners do)? The media, at first, didn’t approach Oscar winners. Oscar winners approached them. Its only now that the media chases winners.

And this:

I agree that the RITAS are like the Oscars to the Romance industry, but it’s up to the authors to get the word out about it before readers will see its validity.

Here's what the Oscars have to attract the media that the RITAs don't:

1. Sex
2. Gorgeous people
3. Tons of money
4. Hot guys
5. ANY guys
6. Drinking, drugs, and wild partying
7. Sex
8. High fashion
9. Sex.

And actually, the media have loved the Oscars since Mary Pickford won the very first one. See the reasons above.

The closest thing we RWAers have to a movie star is Nora Roberts. And though La Nora is quite foxy (if you've ever seen her in a TV interview, you know what I'm talking about), she still isn't featured on the cover of US with a big arrow and the headline "BABY BUMP?" Which means that the mainstream media doesn't think she's sexy, even if we do.

No, the media just isn't interested in a bunch of women who, due to our pitiful incomes as writers, have had to raid the discount racks at Ann Taylor for something to wear and scrimp for a year to afford to get to Dallas, and who lie awake nights wondering if it's possible to have a career without submitting to an author photo EVER.

So, give some RITAs to George Clooney and Daniel Craig, and maybe you'll see a different reaction. I would SO go to that ceremony.