Questions you're not supposed to ask while watching Transformers
(Um, I guess there might be spoilers in this, but not serious ones. Besides, it won't make much sense unless you've seen the movie.)
- How could the Autobots have learned English "from the World Wide Web" when they've just landed on Earth?
- What happened to the huge megavirus that shut down communications across the world?
- Why didn't that helicopter-thing just blow everybody up?
- Why did the Deceptecons spend the first hour of the movie looking for that pair of glasses, when they didn't actually need them to find the cube?
- How come Bumblebee couldn't talk through the whole thing except at the end?
- Why did they decide to bring the cube to the middle of a populated city when it was being pursued by deadly destructive alien robots?
- Were they actually implying that the whole thing was covered up in the end?
- If Optimus followed Sam to the top of that building, why did they need Sam to go in the first place?
- The actress playing the heroine was extremely pretty. Why did they feel the need to put her mascara on with a spatula?
- Why were three teenagers invited to the Pentagon to decode enemy transmissions?
- Who wrote this thing?
Not that I didn't enjoy it - I did. The opening sequence alone is worth the price of admission. It is a spectacular movie, without a doubt. But they could have spent a little less money on the graphics and a little more on the script.
IMO.
2 Comments:
Abby,
I just saw the movie (a double feature at a drive-in--talk about nostalgia!).
I remember watching the cartoon series and reading the short-lived comic series as a kid, so I was thrilled and ticked by the movie. I left feeling like the "moral" of the story was pushed down my throat, and I kept asking my hubby, "Where's Mirage? What about Hound? Shouldn't they have been in the mix somewhere?"
I liked the questions you asked. Here's how I might try and answer them:
1.) Alien robots are really quick learners.
2.) It hit the cutting room floor.
3.) Would have ended the movie too quickly...not enough product placement spots to go around? ;-)
4.) They would have needed the glasses if the humans hadn't moved the cube (and smartly hidden its energy signature under all that concrete ;-).
5.) Optimus Prime did actually mention that Bumblebee's vocal processor had been damaged in previous battle and they were still trying to work it out.
6.) To build drama and re-address the need to push the moral of the story down our throat (and show the difference between protective Autobots and selfish Decepticons ;-).
7.) Of course ;-) Humanity's not willing to accept Autobots living among us. Luckily the government stepped in (probably explaining away the city's destruction as...hmm...What could you claim that was?)
8.) To build drama and show Sam's commitment to the cause ;-).
9.) Very good question. She also appeared "shiny" to me. I kept thinking someone needed to help her fix her oily complexion. This was definitely a "less is more" makeup moment. Too bad the makeup department didn't realize.
10.) Because even teenagers can be brilliant (making the whole age group that much more difficult to discipline ;-). It's actually pretty standard comic-book-fare in that aspect. It's almost always the teens (or characters as immature as some teens) who get caught up in the drama. Spiderman? Teen angst. Batman? Older man experiencing teen angst. Superman? Teen angst (often focusing on girl-boy issues). ;-)
11.) Not Sam Raimi (who I think was instrumental in the cartoon series).
Good questions or peeves, though. One peeve I had was: Mouths? Since when does Prime (or some of the others) have lips and a mouth? Blech.
Great points you made, though!
~Saoirse
Abby:
I just saw this today; and actually, I thought Bumblebee was still quoting movie lines at the end.
I just thought it was creepy they were making out at the end on Bumblebee's hood. Ooh, Transformers like to watch!
And as for who wrote it, the ex-boyfriend of one of my best friends is in consideration to write Transformers 2; will alert the media if it actually happens (one of his scripts is being filmed now with Scarlett Johanssen).
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