Dilemma

Don't ever talk about your novel to anyone socially until it's published. Ever.

-Miss Snark

So, here's me at a party last weekend:

RELATIVE OF THE GUY'S: So, how's the novel doing?

ME: Well, an agent is looking at it. I'm writing another one in the meantime.

ROTG: [Blank look] Can I read it?

ME: Hmm, ah, no, I don't - no, I don't think so.

ROTG: No really, I want to read it. Email it to me!

ME: Um, if it gets published, you can read it then.

ROTG: The first few chapters! Email them!

ME: [inward shudder at the insane closeness of the Guy's vast family and the inevitability that my work will get forwarded to 30 people] Uh, no, maybe not.

ROTG: Why not?

ME: Well, it puts you in an awkward position if you don't like it.

ROTG: Oh, don't worry. I'll TELL you if I don't like it.

ME: Um. Have you ever read a romance?

ROTG: My grandmother loved her Harlequins.

ME: [puzzled at non sequitur but willing to go along] That's nice. But really, thanks but no thanks.

ROTG: The first two chapters. I'll TELL you if they're good or not. EMAIL THEM to me!!!

Bejeebers. What the hell do you do in these situations? Now I know why I don't go to very many parties.

No one at my day job knows that I write. If I ever get published, it will be under a pen name that no one I work with will ever know until the day I cork. And I don't even write spicy stuff.

I've sometimes wondered if this is rude of me, or too introverted, maybe snobbish in some weird way. But now I know it's the only way. 'Cos those nice, clueless people will find you, and they will not leave you alone.

I couldn't avoid this situation, because of course the Guy knows I write, so he's told his family. He's just nice. They're all nice. They need to stop being nice.

New tactic: Avoid parties... by saying I have to stay home and write.