Vacation - Sort Of

I'm on vacation from the day job this week, mostly because they've already told me that the rest of my summer will be so busy that I won't be able to take time off, so I'd better take it now. I did. (I've mentioned before that my day job is really fun, haven't I?)

So, with no money, I'm on vacation at home. And except for the paycheck that's still coming in, it's a taste of what it would be like to be a full-time writer.

I've said it before, but it bears repeating: Full time writers, never for one minute think that those of us with day jobs don't envy you. We do. Even when you talk about deadline stress and irregular pay and burnout and whatever else, we still do. I'm sure those things are true, but we're not listening. We're thinking about going to our cubicles day in and day out until we hit 65 and realize our lives have drained away from under us and we envy you. We wish we could actually take the time to savor life and not look at it from a fluorescent window. The grass is always greener - it's just a fact.

I've been off work for two days now. I've revised my old manuscript, prepped three queries to go in the mail, and spent an afternoon building a website I'm volunteering to make. I've gotten groceries, made a nice big healthy salad to pick at throughout the day, read, cooked dinner two days in a row, done laundry, and cleaned the bathroom. Tomorrow I dig in on the new book.

I've eaten lunch both days and dinner before eight o'clock at night. We get up at six every morning anyway, but so far I feel much more rested even then. It's because I'm not rushing to barely keep up with the basics of life, cramming groceries and cleaning in after eight on a day that's already full. I even sat in the sun for a little bit, enjoying - actually enjoying! - my summer.

Yes, it's only been two days. I'm sure after a couple of months I'd be a lot less keen, the house would be a mess and I'd be sleeping at one in the afternoon. I'm sure if I was a full-time writer, I'd be a lot poorer than I am now (oh, I believe this - it's the only reason I keep my job) and the stress would interfere with my creativity. I'm sure there would be lots of things wrong.

But for now, I think I'll keep my illusions. I think I'll aspire to a life lived for myself, not for a company. I'll aspire to my time being mine, not sold to someone else.

It'll keep me going, at least for the next seven days.