Book in a Box

I came across a site called Writers Store the other day.

It's mostly screenwriting stuff, as the actual store is in Los Angeles, but who knew there was so much writing software out there?

Fiction Master promises to "show how to show a story instead of telling it... test and improve every line of dialogue you have ever written... A senior book editor will help you solve any covered writing problem you can't solve in Fiction Master!" Besides the question of what "senior book editor" has enough time to "solve" everyone's fiction problems (my guess is an unemployed one), this sounds pretty good.

Wait. WritePro promises that it "guides beginning writers step by step in creating rounded characters, suspenseful plots, and sparkling dialogue. It eliminates writer's block, avoids trial and error, and you'll see proof of your progress in minutes."

Wha? These guys have invented the cure for every writing problem - in minutes! At $150 it's $30 cheaper than Fiction Master, too.

Then there's TotallyWrite. It has, um, four modules. Check it: ".. takes the guesswork out of structuring your idea. Providing you with a simple, fill-in-the-blanks form, you can easily take your story from concept to full beat sheet..." (I don't know what a beat sheet is, but it sounds cooler than anything I've ever created.)

"Once you have the form completely filled in, you can then open the WORLDVIEW FORM... Also included in the TotallyWrite Development Paradigm is the Four Questions/Four Archetypes/Formula form... Open up the IDEA SHOEBOX module..."

In the end the only thing I wanted to buy was this:


Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you the Jane Austen action figure.

"Comes with a book and a writing desk and a removable quill pen!"

Her companion piece is this:


The Man Himself - Dickens - comes with quill pen and removable hat.

So nerdy, it's cool.

Maybe.